School Violence: A Case of Empathy Deficit

According to Dr. Venus Nicolini, society is suffering from a bad case of empathy deficit. This, she states, is the reason for the increasing incidents of family assaults and school violence.

The whole emphasis on competition, self-serving materialism, the ME generation of the past forty years has taken its toll. What value does western culture place on empathy?

Consider these factors.

a) The Internet has lessened social interaction. Social networking sites have made possible online interaction which by its very nature is only skin deep. How deep can conversations be when they are published for all to see? Social networking sites are geared more towards sharing recent photos and the latest downloads - activities that reinforce the self indulgent mindset of the Me generation.

b) Until the recent economic crisis, western culture has been immersed in the cult of the material things. The "good life" in western society is making money (tons of it) and buying things (toys). Compare this to many eastern cultures where the community itself is a social value. The good life is living in balance with oneself, others and all life-forms.

c) The cult of the self and self-actualization has made us narcissistic: everything revolves around living our dreams, pursuing our dreams. The point is not that we should stop trying to achieve our dreams; the point is that we should ask ourselves this question: at what expense? It is a question we all need to examine. What price have we paid for wanting it all?

d) Empathy deficit is creating a "tsunami of societal violence,"says expert Mary Gordon. Empathy is the basic step we have to take before we can understand the true meaning of altruism. Without empathy, there is no altruism, no volunteer work, no donations to the needy. Without empathy, children tend towards bullying, fighting and self-serving manipulation.

e) School violence is a sad reflection of the larger society. And we adults are largely responsible for what is now becoming an epidemic of violence worldwide.

What can we do about it?

We can live by example. We can treat everyone we see with more respect, love and genuine empathy. We can choose to look at the "big picture" rather than fuming over what are often inconsequential slights.

We can teach our children and grandchildren the importance of feelings and how they can be attenuated by changing our thoughts. We can help them see perspectives from another set of eyes, get them involved in acts of altruism - donating toys to children who have none, making them aware of children in other countries who are often homeless and starving.

It is up to us - the parents, grandparents and teachers - to help our children cultivate a sense of caring. Even caring for flowers in the garden or a family pet are steps towards a culture of empathy.