Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Why Family Rituals are Important

When my boys were growing up, we visited Grandpa and Grandma in Massachusetts every Christmas. Even in snow and wind storms, we were there - the day after school broke for the winter holidays. It was a priority for us - to make the long drive across the New York highway where we usually bunked down at a Best Western Inn, enjoyed a lovely dinner and splash in the pool; then we were off the next morning after a lusty oatmeal breakfast to make the final 4 hours home to West Stockbridge.

The trip was a tradition we kept up for over 20 years.

And it has morphed into a new form - my sons and grandkids coming home now to my house for the Christmas ritual. Same feeling, same excitement, only the players have moved on to different parts of the drama.

Such rituals are vital for the sustaining of family life. Research shows that rituals provide meaning to family activities and actually deepen our sense of kinship and identity.

This symbolic component of rituals intensifies the emotional impact of family gatherings that stay with us for years, providing fodder for emotional memories and processing of future events in the light of the past.

That, my friend, is how meaning is created, and how characters are formed and broadened into the community. Like the family dinner, it anchors us to what is true and lasting.

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